by Payten » Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:04 am
You're right there are other brothers, I should have done what I wanted to do in the first place and come here where my brother is, but instead of listening to my own guts I did what everyone expected me to and I stayed in Pallia. What did I do that was so wrong? I kept quiet and out of way of everything? I didn't fight with you knowing how important it was for you to learn from Oriana? How could I even think of denying you an opportunity like that? How could I come to you knowing how much you were dealing with? I didn't want to get in the way or become a distraction to you because I know how important what you have been doing is, that you needed to stay focused on matters other than me. Oh I know what I did wrong, I let my human half show itself and in nine months time acted like crazed hormonal terrified pregnant woman. My mistake it won't happen again. I lost you long before you lost yourself, I just didn't know it until last night, until this morning.
Payten couldn't look at him, when he touched her hand she moved it away from him, she didn't jerk away, she just moved and put that hand under their daughter holding her closer to her. Perfect little Emalina, she never wanted to see her daughters bright blue eyes turn to shades of gray like her fathers. Payten knew he was sorry, but it was all still too raw. The horrible things he said to her in person and in his letter didn't just hurt, they shattered her. She thought he truly knew her but now, now she believed he didn't know her at all, and she felt the same way about him.
I didn't mean to leave you, I still don't know how that happened. I've never had anything like that happen to me before, I have always been in control of my magicks. It doesn't really matter though does it?
She turned her head to stare at a painting on the wall, not really looking at it at all she just needed to look somewhere anywhere but at him.
I'm staying here Aranor, maybe with me gone you will be able find yourself again. You can see Emalina anytime you wish no matter what time of day or night it is.