Digging up History

[Mellanor]

(OOC: My idea for this thread is that an archeological dig (Evernight is oooollld now!) has uncovered a bunch of relics from ages past (such as the original OAFS fishing rod) that have been magically transported to a series of chambers... who knows what might happen!)

Mellanor looked over the edge of the dig and stepped back quickly, shutting his eyes to try and fight the vertigo that had threatened to pull him over the edge. He had never been very comfortable with heights. Opening his eyes, he began working his way down the scaffolding while keeping his eyes fastened firmly on the dirt wall. As he descended, he saw the earth changing colors: first brown dirt, then slowly fading into grey clay. Soon after reaching the clay, Mellanor reached the bottom of the scaffolding and looked around. Thankfully, he didnt have to add claustrophobia to his list of problems. The trench was narrow, but it was very long, and Mellanor knew that further down the trench split into many winding tunnels that snaked through the area.

For some reason, this region of Tonan was especially rich in remnants of lost empires and keepsakes of past heroes. Mellanor, always willing to put his money into something he thought might end up being profitable, had quickly bought up this entire area, obtaining the land manor by manor until it had been entirely here. He assumed that buried amongst the trinkets and detrius there would be some truly magnificent treasures to be found and sold. To that effect, he had hired a huge group of droben to dig for him. The discovery of a thick layer of clay that seemed riddled with openings and caverns had slowed their progress, but each pocket in the clay that they reached was filled with interesting discoveries.

Mellanor started down a tunnel, looking at the signs carved in the wall. "one nice thing about clay," he muttered to himself with a smirk. Just this morning, his workers had sent word that they had broken into a new chamber. After a few minutes, he reached the entrance and stepped inside. In it was, of all things, a fishing boat! Mellanor looked up to the clay ceiling, lit by the glow of torchlight, and tried to figure out exactly how something this big managed to get into a chamber barely large enough to hold it. Coming up to the edge of the boat, he looked inside and saw a fishing rod.

"What is that?"

[Voice Elessar]

[ooc]I deleted the other thread since it looked to be a double post.[/ooc]

[Porckie]

OOC: Seeing as OAFS is mentioned, I am adopting this thread

IC:

"Pff! Lets restart the guild, he says. Prrff! See the world, he says. Pffrtt! You just find the rod, he says, is gonna be real easy. Brrfftt! Damn you Naggie-poo!"

After spitting out yet another piece of garlic, the dwarf cursed under his breath and kept on running...

"Faster, Master Porckie, faster!!"

"That's easy for you to say, mister Floppy. As a flying mushroom, you are not hindered by this venturous vegetation!"

Swinging his fist at his fungoid servantflying above his head, draped in a mixture of chickensoup and slicings of onion, Porckie was attacked by yet another thorny bush intent on giving his face a make-over...

"They are gaining on us, sir! And they still seem intent on making a dwarf-mushroom-shish-kebab!"

Just as mister Floppy had finally rid himself of the carrot sticking out of his god-knows-what, another fork flew dangerously past his little wings. Porckie picked up speed and looked past his shoulder, which was covered in barbeque-sauce. Pursuing them with faces that looked like female periods, twenty angry, cutlery-wielding villagers were approaching fast.

The villagers had looked quite silly. Their headgear was made out of roasted chickenlegs and their ear-rings had looked like lumps of moulded cheese. They had smelled of olive-oil and were always holding sharpened salad-tossers. However, they had proven to be very informative when it came to the nearby, archaeological dig. Having found out about the ship being found in one of the chambers, the inquisitive dwarf and his winged fungus had cheered for joy. Convinced that their arduous search would finally come to an end, they had given each other a high-five, unaware of the significations this gesture appeared to cary for the aforementioned villagers.
Looking back, the dwarf realised that the high-fiving must have been the cause for the odd ceremony that followed. Either that, or the fact that the town's mayor had intervened in the midst of their high-five, with his face. Whatever the case, the town's mayor, now suffering from two red and slightly dented cheeks, had shreeked angrily and all the villaghers had jumped on the dwarf and his fungus. After having been tied up, Porckie and mister Floppy had been lavished in oils and thrown into what appeared to have been a hot bath, filled with parsley, rosemary and floating onions. The two had quite enjoyed the treatment, until the villagers started stuffing Porckie's face with garlic and had entered mister Floppy with a rather pointy, orange vegetable. Their panic had reached a critical high, as one of the villagers revealed the biggest zucchini they had ever seen. Covering all their crevices as well as they could, Porckie and mister Floppy had managed to escape and were now fleeing wildly through the forest...

"Watch out, there comes another one!"

Porckie ducked just in time, as a flying ladle knocked the helmet off his head...

"Phew! That was cloooo... "

Mister Floppy looked down to see what had happened to his master and saw nothing...

- "...ooooooo....."

His master had, it seemed, disappeared and only left a single vowel hanging in the air...

- "...oooooooo..."

*BOINK*

The soft thud, made mister Floppy realise that Porckie must somehow have tripped and fallen. Scooping down between the thick bushes, the mushroom stumbled upon what appeared to be along mineshaft. Within the shaft, there was no Porckie, but a lot of darkness...

" Mister Porckie? Yoohooo? "

- "....oooooo..."

There was that same vowel again! Hearing the rattling of approaching salad-tossers and fearing a re-entry of the carrot, Mister Floppy decided to descend the long tunnel. As he made his way down, the angry murmurings of the villager above turned slowly into a low buzzing sound and, finally disappeared, as he reached the bottom of the tunnel.

Hello? Master Porckie? Are you alright?"

The mushroom turned around and around, but no sign of his master could be seen, when suddenly...

*THWACK*

"Oww!"

Out of the blue, eventhough it was rather black-ish in the tunnel, mister Floppy felt a painful trash across his stem. As he looked around, he suddenly saw his master, wearing a cowboy-hat and caressing what appeared to be a leather whip.

"Why are you wearing that outfit? And what's with the whip? I've told you thousand times before, you can't make whipped cream out of mushrooms! "

"What talketh thou about, thou mad mushroom, thou. This atire, I will have thou know, is standard amongst us archaeologogians!"

It was only then that mister Floppy realised that they had stumbled into the archaelogical dig and, seconds later, he also noticed the funny look in the dwarf's eyes, as the whip came crashing down again...

[Thepheonix]

(OOC: Seeing that its my alt, Porkie... by all means (Oh, and thanks Elessar))

There Toph had been, hapily eating his stew, when a giant animated mushroom had come bounding through the inn, knocking his stew into his lap. Toph had cursed, lept into the air and had been about to blast the offending fungus into oblivion when he saw, of all people, porkie racing along behind the mushroom. Curious, Toph got up, directing the magical power he had gathered into cleaning his tunic instead of unleashing a bolt of fire, and started to follow the pair.

Clearly, he hadnt been the first to be angered by the pair... in fact, it looked like an entire town was tearing after them! The pair weaved and dodged out of the way of thrown ladles and knives, and suddenly dissapeared!

Toph pushed through the crowd until he stood at the edge of a black trench, many feet deep. Porkie and his... mushroom... had fallen in, and by the looks of it, none of the villagers felt like following... likely because there wasnt a way down into the trench from where they were standing. Toph... had other ways of getting down, though.

Concentrating for a moment, Toph stepped off the edge of the trench and descended slowly into the trench, landing softly as his magic dissapated. Looking around, he spotted Porkie swinging a whip at his mushroom with a crazed look in his eye. Deciding that fungicide was not something he approved of... at least in THIS case, Toph called out in a loud voice: "Porkie! Stop!"

[Porckie]

OOC: You might as well have put OAFS in the title then.. Good to be RP-ing with you again master Toph! Oh..and there is a C in my name :/

IC:
*THWACK*

"Master Porckie, please pause this wicked whipping! It is me, your mushroom minion, your mouldy manservant, your faithful fungus!"

Porckie's brains were still scrambled from the three-hundred feet drop, which they had just partaken in, as well as its consequent landing. Just as he was about to whip the winged mushroom again, he noticed someone floating down from above. Seeing the new arrival land savely on his feet, filled his mushed up brains with jealousy and anger...

"Porkie! Stop!"

"Oh mister Toph! thank the Gods you've come, master Porckie has been acting so strange ever since he fell down that manhole!"

"Who be-eth this Porckie thou all art blabber-talking about!? And what has he been doing to manholes? He soundeth like a perverted persona! Holdeth on there, thou faithful fungoid, what didst thou sayeth his name was?"

"This is grandmaster Toph, he is your fr..."

"Aahh.. it be-eth herr Von Linzeneintopf! My nemesis, out to thwart my schemes at archaeologogically discovering the Wand of Wiggly Bums for the sake of science!"

"The Wand of Wiggley....what are you tal...."

"There be-eth no time for explainating! We must superprise my nemesis herr Von Linzeneintopf by setting off one of the boobie-traps! Quick! Stampeth your foot on the ground and try to set off the triggering-mechanicalisms!"

While mister Floppy glanced helplessly back and forth between Toph, his master and the definitely feetless lower part of his body, the little dwarf began stamping his feet around the entire cave, hoping to set of a boobytrap that would see Toph get smashed by a boulder, set alight by a flatulent firefly or eaten alive by hungry herbivores. Either that, or some perverted part of his brain was waiting for a big boobie to appear...

[Thepheonix]

(ooc: Ah, you are correct! my apologies)

"Von Lizen-who? Porckie, what in blazes are you talking about? Your nemesis I am assuredly not!"

Flustered, Toph looked past Porckie and saw the mushroom, who looked just as confused as he did. Toph opened his mouth to try to talk to it, but suddenly porckie started shouting about booby-traps and stomping about trying to set one off. Toph watched the spectacle for a few moments, then made a decision.

Suddenly, the walls around them started to shake and vibrate, as large stones began to fall out of the walls and crash to the ground. Toph hoped the dwarf didnt notice that the stones dissapeared after hitting the ground... it was all an illusion, after all. Hopefully this would snap him back to his senses... if not, maybe a REAL rock would do the trick... right on his head...

[Porckie]

"Cometh thou on, friend fungoid! We must unleash the boobies!"

Still thumping his feet on the ground, Porckie suddenly noticed that the cave was falling in. At first, he raised his arms into the sky and started cackling: his plan had worked, his evil nemesis would certainly fall prey to this pouring of pebbles! A few seconds later, however, he noticed that the rocks were rapidly whistling past and even through his nose! Being too far off, mentally, to notice the oddity of the latter event, Porckie tried his utmost to evade the falling stones...

"Rallyeth to me, manservant o' mould! My trusty whip protecteh us!"

The sight of the brandished whip in his master's hand, made Mister Floppy's feel reluctant to approach. But then the idea of a last chance at some one-on-one time with his master before joining the great Fungus in the sky won it from the prospect of being covered in falling rocks without that a little swan song of satisfaction. Sighing under his breath, the mushroom flew to his dwarven lord, who had begun snapping his whip at the cascading crags.

"It appeareth to be working, o mushroomable twatbagger!"

Indeed, Mister Floppy had not felt any boulder bounce off of his head and began feeling quite save, until he saw Porckie starting to thrash the walls of the cave which were, at present, not caving in yet.

"Sir....don't you think that would only increase our problems?"

"Ah, thou havest no wit, in thine mushy brain! These walls are silently lurking to cave in on us when the other wobbly walls have finishated! I am simply puniwunishing them in advance! That will teach them!"

The dwarf snapped his whip at the non-imaginary wall, which started to crumnble as a result, revealing a bright shimmery light. The dwarf continued his whipping and soon the hole in the wall grew bigger and bigger...

"Aha! it appeareth the walls had other intentions for us! Lets escape and leave my nemesis Von Linzeneintopf there to die!!"

With that, the dwarf and his flying mushroom jumped towards the light.

[Thepheonix]

Toph watched, astonished, as Porckie began flailing about himself with his whip. Did he somehow think that he could flick BOULDERS out of the sky with that measley piece of leather?

Sadly, since Toph didnt actually want to hit his confused friend with any real rocks, and had not had a chance to communicate to the fungus his plan (shouting it wouldnt have worked... and how do you telepath to a fungus' mind? Does it have a mind?)... what ended up happening was a sudden reconciliation between shroom and master, followed by Toph diving out of the way as Porckie came rushing towards him, whip upraised. Toph felt the wash of air from the whip pass over him, and hit resoundingly against the wall of the cavern, which shook ominously. Toph glanced around... he might be simulating a cavequake, but it looked like Porckie might manage to create his own!

Toph heard the small voice of the fungus trying to speak some words of wisdom, but it was left unheeded as Porckie slammed his whip into the wall over and over again. Toph debated letting him know that his great nemesis was now behind him... and decided against it. It was easier to protect them all when he didnt have to worry about being attacked by an enraged dwarf... With a mighty CRACK! a bright beam of light shone from the wall as Porkie and shroom jumped through a hole that had suddenly appeared. Without a second thought, Toph dived in after them as the walls of the trench started to give way in a cascade of dirt.

Toph rolled and righted himself, then stopped and looked around in awe. They were in a giant cavern made of crystal. High above, a brilliant beam of sunlight, directed down by who knows how many crystals, bounced and refracted across the entire ceiling, lending a bright glow to the entire room. Everywhere he looked, passageways darted off from the cavern, and Toph followed them with his eyes, trying to see where they might lead.

But what finally caught Toph's full attention was the large book sitting on a glass pedestal in the center of the room. Heedless of the danger, Toph started walking towards it...

[Porckie]

OOC: An ancient book, eh? Incidentally, I published an article on the conservation of books at the end of the Middle Ages *nods* http://www.boekgeschiedenis.nl/default.asp?id=853&page=&keuze=detail&nieuwsid=103 Anyhoo, lets see if we can get me sane again.

Deeming himself safe from any descending debris, Porckie looked around him. The caverns they had entered by accident differed greatly from the ones he saw caving in: these walls looked sturdy and were embedded with crystals. The great number of passageways leading to and fro, made Porckie feel as if he had entered some sort of maze...

"Ah flying fungoid; it appeareth we have stumblee-wumbled upon a new discoverewy! This must be the ancient tomb of pharaohs Toot and Caiman. Be very afraid of crocodiles wearing blowhorns, the mythical animals protecting their final resting place! They hit before they honk!"

Suddenly, the twisted dwarf noticed Toph entering the room. Grabbing Mr. Floppy by the wings, Porckie hid behind a large crystal...

"Von Linzeneintopf! My nemesis! How hath he survived that avabeelanche!? He must be after the treasures of Toot and Caiman too! Think of something, oh man of mould!"

Just as Mr. Floppy was about to point out that Toph was no where near a nemesis, the dwarf noticed the elflike persona approaching the glass pedestral in the middle of the room. Shushing his fungus with his cowboyhat, Porckie came out of his hidingplace.

"Stop von Linzeneintopf! The Toot and Caiman treasures be mine! If the honking crocodiles will not stop you, I will!"

The dwarf had ran towards the glass pedestral and now stood between it and the slowly advancing Toph. Noticing no change in the demeanor of his advancing foe, Porckie felt he had to act fast and turned his eyes to the book. Ignoring the many colourfull drawings and complicated letters, the dwarf ripped a page from the book and turned to face his nemesis.

"Hah! See-eth you this!? I have defouled the treasee-weasure! No longer can it be used for your moooooooseum!"

A grin split Porckie's face in half as he thought of another way to taunt his nemesis. Decisively, he braught the piece of paper to his mouth, crumpled it up and instantly swallowed it whole. He clapped his knees and flailed his arms about, as some sort of victory dance, cackling aloud.

"Boohahaha! I win again Von Linzeneintopf!!!"

"Master Porckie? You are floating!!!"

"What is this, fungoid? Speaketh no jabberquatsch!!"

As he looked down, Porckie noticed that no jabberquatsch came from the mushroom's mouth. For sure, his feet were now off the ground and had risen to the level of the glass pedestal. Porckie scratched his head and started to panic as he noticed he kept rising and was gaining speed!

"Fungoid! Save me, Von Linzeneintopf has trickseled me, I must retaliwaliaa...."

*BOINK*

"Mister Floppy? Topheh!? Where am I, what is going...why are you so small!?!"

The glassy look had disappeared from the dwarf's eyes and had been replaced with one which read vertigo. After regaining full conscience, Porckie noticed he was now afloat and drifting against the ceiling of the cavern, high above his mouldy manservant and compelling compadre.

[Thepheonix]

OOC: Porckie, I think we're going to set a record for OOC intros to posts. Also... magic books have special rules... I hope.

"Porckie, Wait!" Toph cried out as Porckie, blabbering something random about... fair-Ohs? ran past him towards the book. Toph imagined that there were in fact some quite nice looking letter Os in that page ahead, but he didnt know why his dwarven friend was so... excited by this fact... he hadnt known Porckie to be all that much of a reader... that was his job in their little group.

Toph saw Porckie reach the book, rip out a page, and... of all things, eat it. Moments later, the dwarf started floating up into the air! Toph watched, startled at the sudden change of circumstances, and laughed when Porckie hit his head and suddenly popped out of his delusional state.

"Good of you to join us, Porckie! Um... why dont you hang around for a little bit and I'll see what I can do about your whole... ballooning episode you're having there!" Toph yelled up to the dwarf. With a few strides, Toph covered the remaining ground to the book and glanced it over. It appeared the book was divided into two sections... the first half was labeled 'some spells you might find useful here'. The latter half was a long, long list of... things and... 'room numbers'?. Toph didnt recongnize anything... waiit... 'A stone from the city of Gyppeswyk'. Gyppeswyk had been destroyed ages ago, long before maxim sank into the sea... How was a stone from that city catalogued in this book?

Toph heard a *pop* and looked up to see Porckie suddenly start falling. Whatever had been keeping him up clearly wasnt working anymore. Toph pointed, and Porckie's descent slowed until he landed softly on the ground.

"Oops. Wasnt expecting that. Sorry..." Toph muttered before turning his attention back to the book. The page Porckie had ripped out had been between two spells... Flip and Flounce... Toph briefly checked to make sure that the book labeled its spells in alphabetical order, checked the original index, and realized that the spell Porckie had unwisely ingested was the spell of Float.

"Porckie, come over here..." Toph called out to his friend as he rummaged in his cloak for his spell journal. Briefly jotting down some symbols, Toph ripped the page out and handed it to the dwarf.

"Eat that. If Im right... you'll be able to breathe fire. And if Im wrong... well, I promise that my paper is made of the highest quality wood fiber... it'll be a great source of fiber for your diet." Toph told Porckie.

[Porckie]

While Porckie levitated against the ceiling of the cavern and constantly bumped his head, he watched as the yellowy elflike person below strode towards the big book. Just as Toph seemed to be engulfed in his reading material, the little dwarf suddenly felt a strong pull towards the ground.

"Waaaa!"

Flailing his arms about, Porckie started a fast, unwanted descent. Mister Floppy, the flying mushroom, covered his eyes with his wings as he saw his master fall and prepared for more thrashing with the whip. Luckily for both mushroom and master, Porckie managed to get the dwarf safely on the floor, by simply raising a finger. As Mister Floppy removed his wings, he was overjoyed to see his master standing on the floor again, running his hands over his trembling body, trying to make sure he was still alive.

Toph motioned Porckie to approach and suddenly started jotting something down in a little black book. Porckie looked expectantly at the Sidhe, as he ripped the piece of paper from his little book and offered it to him.

"Eat that. If Im right... you'll be able to breathe fire. And if Im wrong... well, I promise that my paper is made of the highest quality wood fiber... it'll be a great source of fiber for your diet."

Porckie wiggled his eyebrows. He felt that taking candy, even if it was a piece of paper, from someone about 50 times your age was somehow not a smart thing to do. But then, he did want to get rid of his little potbelly, and fibers, he remembered, acted as laborious laxatives. hesitantly, the dwarf pulled the scrap of paper from Toph's long fingers and started chewing...

*WHOOSH*

"AAAhh..it burns!!"

Toph's trick had worked alright! After swallowing the piece of paper, Porckie felt a warm glow around his lungs. Enthusiastically, he was eager to breathe out; unwittingly, however, he chose to exhale nasally and set his beard afire. With the flames engulfing his chin, Porckie ran around in panic, breathing whums of fire as he screamed and howled...

"Don't worry mister Porckie, I will extinguish your facial hair!"

With that, mister Floppy the flying mushroom flew to his master's rescue and started to extinguish the smoldering chin-hairs, by means of thumping on his master's face with his stem and flapping with his wings.

"Eeeee!"

Porckie's whaling continued as flames continued to flow from his lips. Although his beard had been extinguished and his face was no longer on fire, pain could still be read from his face. Suddenly, one could see the dwarf's scorched eyebrows wiggle, as he raised his finger symbolically, indicateing he had just had a good idea. Moving quickly, he raised his left hand to his nose, clogged his nostrils with his fingers and closed off his mouth with his other hand, seemingly intent on keeping his breath until kingdom come.

[Thepheonix]

Toph watched as Porckie gobbled up the spell and started breathing fire. He had heard of individuals who were able to 'metabolize' (whatever that meant... it was an old word... older that Toph himself) magic: that is, they could take a scroll with a spell written on it, and when it hit their stomach, the spell would activate and give them the spell's ability for a short amount of time. Toph had heard of one unforunate soul who had mistakenly eaten a spell of Banishing, and had dissapeared forever... he would have to warn his short friend to keep in mind what he was putting in his mouth.

Toph leapt out of the way as Porckie turned his breath towards Toph. Porckie was wailing about how the fire hurt, and Toph realized that he had written down a very... non-specific spell, one that burned anything it came into contact with. Next time, he'd tailor it to not affect the 'caster'... which would hopefully solve the problem. Porckie kept spinning and staggering about the room, and Toph realized that the dwarf was unwittingly heading directly for the book! Exibiting some rather impressive acrobatics, Toph pushed off of the floor, grabbed the book and landed beyond the range of Porckie's fire, which had... stopped?

Upon inspection, it was clear that Porckie had decided that the best way to deal with the spell was just to not breathe out at all. Given the chaos that had ensued after he had eaten the spell, Toph didnt blame him. Thankfully, the spell should wear off any moment...

A loud crunch sounded behind Toph, and he whirled around to see a large crystal statue step out from the wall and start marching with ponderous steps towards Porckie, Toph, and the fungus... whose identity was still a mystery. A loud, hollow voice rung out from the statue: "YOU HAVE STOLEN FROM THE TRUST. PREPARE FOR THE CONCEQUENCES."

Stolen? But they hadnt even gotten out of the... Toph looked down at the book in his hands.

"Well, I guess I did 'take' this." he said to himself before calling out to Porckie: "We may need your breath pretty soon!"

[Mellanor]

A loud crashing noise sounded throughout the build site.

"What in the WORLD was that?" Mellanor shouted, following his workers out of the rod-room and back into the main trenches. They followed the commotion until they arrived at the cave-in. The trench was completley filled with dirt.

"what happened?" Mellanor asked the workers, who shrugged in response.

From above, a voice said "I saw what happened! We were chasing a dwarf and a mushroom and they ran into the trench, and then this elf-looking fellow showed up and jumped in after them, but he had magic and then they started fighting and yelling at each other and then the mushroom and the dwarf got hit by stones but they were able to knock them away with their whips and then the wall broke and we saw a light shining beyond it and then they jumped through and the elf-thing followed and then everything collapsed and now Im here watching and telling you and you're here listening and I think thats all great, right?"

Mellanor looked up to see the young boy who had said all this and quietly thought that the boy was clearly making up tales... A flying mushroom, fighting away falling rocks with a whip? Insanity.

"Thank you, son. Now why dont you run on home" Mellanor said to the boy, who got up and scampered away. Mellanor turned to his men.

"Well, get this cleared up soon, okay?"

At that moment, a loud booming voice rang out from within the cave in. The words were muffled, but the word "Stolen" was readily heard.

"What IS going on?" mellanor muttered to himself...

[Porckie]

Porckie looked like an insecure hippopotamus whose inner thight had just been exposed, as his cheeks turned a bright shade of red. Although seizing to exhale had put a stop to the burning sensation around his chin and nostrils, the temperature of the air inside his vocal tract was still blazing.

"YOU HAVE STOLEN FROM THE TRUST. PREPARE FOR THE CONCEQUENCES."

A loud, booming voice rang through the cavern. As Porckie looked up, he noticed the big crystal statue, looking much like an overgrown raksassa, had started to move. Just a few seconds ago, Porckie had dangled in front of this statues nose and now it was approaching them with his big crystal arms stretched out; talk about timing!

"We may need your breath pretty soon!"

Timing, Porckie thought, timing would be of the essence! If the statue would be too far off, his fiery breath might not hurt it. If the statue would move to close, he and Toph could sevre as doormats.

" Quick master Porckie, breathe out!"

The dwarf raised a finger to his panicking fungus and hled his breath for a little while longer, as the statue kept moving closer.

Porckie raised his eyebrows and rounded his lips: the staute was now in range! Porckie took aim and opened his mouth and nostrils widely....

*poof*

Rather than an all-insinerating flame, a little puff of smoke escaped the dwarf's cavities, causing his eyebrows to rise even higher. Noting his failure to burn down the crystal statue, Porckie jumped up, grabbed Toph, who was still holding the book, by the tunic and made a run for it, dashing off into one of the many passageways.

[Thepheonix]

"Whoa! Porckie! Put. Me. Down!!!!"

Obviously, Toph's devious plan had failed miserably. The spell had petered out before Porckie had been able to use it against the statue, and now Toph was being bodily carried by the dwarf towards one of the tunnels. Toph flinched as Porckie brazenly ran directly between the legs of the statue, and his involuntary reaction caused the book to fall out of his hands.

"wait! We need that! Porckie, stop!"

Porckie wasnt listening, and kept running. Toph looked folornly back at the book as it got smaller and smaller. The statue, slightly slowed by having to turn around, lumbered towards them.

"Porckie... you might want to run a little faster... its gaining!"

The dwarf picked up some speed and dissapeared into a tunnel. The statue lunged after them, howling in anger behind them as they escape from his grasp and start running through the tunnels

"Okay, we're safe! You can put me down. Porckie?"

The dwarf still wasnt listeneing, and kept running through different tunnels until Toph wasnt sure how they had gotten to where they were. Eventually, Porckie stopped and Toph got up. They were deep in the tunnels, and while there was still light somehow, they were definitely lost. Without the book... they had no idea where they were and how in the world to get back to the main chamber... although with the giant statue there, maybe they didnt want to be. Suddenly from the walls around them, the statue's booming voice rang out.

"RETURN WHAT YOU HAVE STOLEN, OR YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE!"

But... the book was currently WITH the statue! This... wont be good. Looking around, Toph saw two passages, and looked towards Porckie...

"So... err... what now? That way or That way?"

[Porckie]

Huffing and puffing, sweating and fretting, panting and slanting, Porckie made his way through the tunnels, carrying the Sidhe on his shoulders and ignoring all the Sidhe said. The scrawny yellowy Sidhe did not look it, but he was quite heavy. It must be because of all those braincells, Porckie thought, next time he'd carry Toph, he would make make sure to hit him on the head repeatedly beforehand...

"RETURN WHAT YOU HAVE STOLEN, OR YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE!"

The booming voice caused chills to run down the dwarf's spine and it made his eardrums virbrate heavily too. After the dwarf came to a standstill, he saw Toph had come down from his shoulders and was staring at him. He could see the Sidhe's lips move, but, due to the vibrations caused by the statue's voice, he was unable to hear anything. Assuming Toph offered to change place for a while, Porckie nodded his head happily. He then jumped on the Sidhe's shoulders and started hitting the sides of Toph's chest with his heels and shouted "Huu!" And for a moment, it seemed as if Porckie's cowboy-mania had returned to him.

Suddenly he snapped back into focus, eventhough he did remain on the Sidhe's shoulders.

"Mister Floppy! We forgot mister Floppy!"

During their flight, Porckie had lost track of his mushroom manservant and, turning his head to and fro, he was now unable to spot any flying fungoid in the vicinity. Shaking his head vigourously, he managed to get rid of the loud buzzing sound in his ears and started listening very carefully.

"Master Porckie, Mister Toph!? Helloho, are you there!? You dropped the book! I picked it up for you but...now I can't see you anymore and I see shadows and EEEEE!!---"

With that, silence ensued. The voice of the fungus had sounded distant and muffled, its cries agonizing and heartfelt. Knowing what this silence could mean, the dwarf felt tears welling up in his eyes and some gooey substance started dripping from his nose...

"RETURN WHAT YOU HAVE STOLEN, OR YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE!"

The voice of the statue had sounded neither muffled, nor distant! In fact, coming around the corner, Porckie could see a gigantic stone foot, which, he assumed, belonged to the granite giant. The statue was still coming for them!

"Quick Topheh! Run, run, run!"

[Thepheonix]

OOC: Im trying to think of 'important historical artifacts' for us to run into... any ideas?

"Whaaaa?"

Toph spun around wildly as he was suddenly laden with a dwarf, who seemed intent on making Toph carry him for a while. But the dwarf was HEAVY! Toph figured it was the beard. Perhaps next time the dwarf jumped onto him, Toph would make sure that his beard was suitably cropped. The brown mass looked like it hadnt been washed in months, and for all Toph knew, there might be a few lost empires buried deep within the curly mass. Not able to figure out what to do, as Porckie wouldnt sit still enough for Toph to trust his ability to take a single step in any direction, Toph merely sat down. This seemed to startle the dwarf, who let go of Toph's neck and started shouting for Mister Floppy... who Toph reasoned must be the mushroom. It was nice to finally have a name to go with the... err... hood?

From far away, Toph heard the mushroom calling out, telling them that it was bringing the book to them. Toph got a sinking feeling in his stomach at the news, and looked around briefly... the clay walls pressed in all around them, and beyond the two tunnels and the way they had come, Toph couldnt see any other place to go.

The mushroom wailed, thin voice rising up in terror and then, there was silence. Toph looked towards his friend, and saw that Porckie was taking this latest turn of events hard. Toph reached out a hand to comfort his friend, when, with a crash, the statue was upon them. Toph was astounded that it had managed to get to them! The tunnels they had been running in had been barely tall enough for Toph to stand upright, and yet here the statue was... Toph looked at the debris that was raining down around the statue's feet and reconsidered... books, rare-looking stones, banners of long-gone guilds, all were raining down to the ground, and Toph realized that the giant was coming for them THROUGH the walls as opposed to the tunnels. This was bad.

A fleeting thought crossed his mind that whoever designed the statue had not exactly been very intelligent to allow it to run rampant through the very supports of this museum, but... the original intent was unimportant now. Toph grabbed Porckie, and with a quiet spell, lifted the dwarf up to his shoulders, appreciating the lessening of weight the spell had achieved, and started running full speed down the upward-spiraling tunnel, the statue close behind.

[Porckie]

Porckie wiggled his eyebrows a Toph had thrown him over his shoulder. The dwarf was amazed at the little effort this seemed to cost the Sidhe, who, only minutes before, had tottered like an intoxicated walrus when Porckie had jumped on his back...

"Quick Topheh! He..she..err..it is gaining!"

As Toph kept running up the stairs, Porckie could see the statue amidst the falling debris, coming after them. The sight of the approaching statue was unlike any he had ever seen. Porckie felt a tingly feeling in his stomach as the sight of his face being trampled by the two rather big stoney feet flashed before his eyes. Panicing slightly, Porckie started to twist and turn on Toph's shoulder, in an attempt at turning to face the other way. If he was positioned like that, he thought, the giant would certainly flatten his bottom first and then he would at least die with the knowledge that, in the end, his butt had not looked big in that.

It was only when he had managed to do a 180 on Toph's shoulder that he suddenly found out the origin of the Sidhe's seemingly sudden surge in strength...

"Topheh, you Tophtard! Where is my beard!?""

Grumbling under his breath, Porckie noticed that the Sidhe had somehow made his beard disappear and started pinching Toph's left ear. Now he was able to see in which direction they were heading, Porckie noticed they were still going up a narrow stairway which was slightly sloped towards the left. On the walls on either side, there were banners of guilds long since forgotten. Guilds dating back from the period before the return of the old Gods. The dwarf's memory did not serve him quite well, but he did manage to recognize the banners of Chaotic Destiny, Tiavain and the guild known as The Gates of Hell. They took another sharp corner and found that the corridor continued, with banners of guilds on either side.

"Toph, look!!!"

Porckie raised his finger and pointed at one of the banners on the wall ahead of them. This particular banner had been ripped to shreds, rendering the signs on the banner illegible; importantly though, it revealed the shape of a door, originally hidden behind the banner. Porckie looked back over his and Toph's shoulder and saw that the statue had not reached this part of the hallway yet. Inciting Toph to run a little faster, the dwarf and Sidhe were able to reach the door before the statue showed any sign of coming round the corner. Porckie jumped down from the Sidhe's shoulder and, as quick as, they could, they opened the door and entered the room behind it.

*KLUNK*

Ignoring whatever that sound was, Porckie quickly closed the door and held his ear to the wall. Seconds later he heard heavy footsteps running through the hallway on the other side, drawing closer at first, then moving further away. The dwarf sighed in relief, they were safe, for now, at least.

"We've bought us some time grandmaster Toph. Now how about returning my beard?"

Turning to Toph, Porckie's frown turned to a large grin as he saw the bucket over Toph's head and the grapesludge, running slowly down the Sidhe's shoulders...

[Mellanor]

Cheers echoed up and down the trench as the first pickaxe broke through the cave in and the workers could finally see through the wall and into the crystal chamber. Mellanor scrambled up the dirt to peer inside.

"It is beautiful!" he gasped, staring in unabashed wonder at the way the light played off the giant crystals embedded in the walls. Seized by a sudden impulse, he wriggled his way through the opening and into the chamber.

Mellanor looked around. Surely he was the first person to ever set foot in this room! It was amazingly crafted, the light from the ceiling - Mellanor peered up at the light, trying to decide how it was that sunlight was making its way down into this chamber - spilling into the chamber and catching on the various crystals in the walls, creating a glittering, shimmering wonder.

Mellanor looked around, and noticed how very different this room looked from the others they had found prior to this... where the other rooms had been in perfect, undisturbed condition, this one showed some signs of destruction. Most obvious was the large hole in the western wall, where it looked like something very, very large had forcibly pushed through wall and left a large tunnel behind it. There were also scorch marks on some of the walls and... a book.

Mellanor briskly walked over to the book. It was closed, and lay just inside the hole. Mellanor lifted it up and took a look at its cover: "A guide to the Trust"

"Whats the Trust?" Mellanor asked aloud, turning about to find a good spot to put the book down... ah, there was that pedestal over there... that was as fine a spot as any...

Mellanor walked over and set the book down on the pedestal.

"Now... whats in you, book?"

[Thepheonix]

"Bleech..." Toph mewled folornly, staring down at his ruined tunic as the grape sludge slowly plopped to the floor from his head.

It had been a long, long time since something quite like that had happened. Porckie had rigged it up... wait a sec-

"Porckie! Did you know this was here? Is that why we're here? I bet you *did* know.

Toph glared at the dwarf and reached back into his brain, trying his hardest to recall a spell from long, long ago. Ah, yes.

Toph breathed a sigh of relief as the sludge began to slough off him and wick out of his clothes. Soon, his tunic was back to the pale blue that he prefered it and his hair was dry. Stepping delicatly over the sludge pile on the floor, Toph walked over to Porckie and turned around.

Sure enough, it was the same contraption... same old boards, same sludge, same activating contraption. Toph looked sidelong at Porckie.

"err... I thought the grapeslaves inn burned to the ground... any ideas where this thing came from?"

The dwarf seemed preoccupied, and kept stroking his now-smooth face. Oh, right... the dwarf was nothing without his beard. Concentrating, Toph made a similar gesture in the air in front of Porckie's face.

Long hair sprung out from Porckie's face, and soon the dwarf's beard had regained its former length... and looked nice and clean now, too. Toph smiled, thinking that Porckie almost looked dashing now... for a dwarf. After all that running from the statue... who was being quite quiet, something to smile about was nice.

As if on command, the booming voice rang out through the halls: "YOU HAVE CHOSEN WISELY AND RETURNED THAT WHICH YOU STOLE. THE BOOK IS NOT YOURS TO TAKE. IF YOU HAVE CLAIM TO AN ITEM IN THE TRUST, SPEAK YOUR CLAIM AND YOU WILL BE JUDGED."

The statue started moving again, heading off in the opposite direction. Toph peeked his head out the door and watched, amazed, as the crystals embedded in the walls began spreading, slowly rebuilding the corridor. Toph glanced around... the guilds here were familiar to him... many, in fact, he had ridden with for a time. Suddenly, a thought came to him.

"Porckie! If this is here, perhaps the Rod is as well! We lost that ages ago... imagine what Nagash would say if we could return it straight and tall to the temple. Im sure it must be around here somewhere..."

[Mellanor]

Mellanor was reading the book with facination. It was clear to him that the few chambers embedded in clay that he and his team had broken into were only the very outermost chambers of a much larger complex full of untold numbers of priceless relics from ages past. Mellanor hadnt even heard of 90 percent of what he was reading. It was astounding, to think that someone... this... Trust... had come together and saved so much of Tonan's history.

"How did they do it?" He mused aloud, turning another page and seeing an oddly shaped bucket contraption.


Suddenly, the ground shook, and Mellanor looked up to see the statue coming up the corridor. Mellanor yelled in fright and ran back towards the entrance to the chamber... he may be a lord, but he wasnt a hero. Mellanor dived through the opening, and shouted to his men to close it up behind him while their boss panted and wheezed and tried to slow his heart down...

[Porckie]

"Porckie! If this is here, perhaps the Rod is as well! We lost that ages ago... imagine what Nagash would say if we could return it straight and tall to the temple. Im sure it must be around here somewhere..."

Porckie stopped stroking his neatly groomed beard and stared at the sidhe with his eyes wide open, dropping his jaw. This was supposed to be the brainy OAF! The walking intellect, a grandmaster of Tophness, a harbinger of Tophinities and a dispenser of Tophenirs!

" You want to ask that stampeding statue for the Rod?! The same statue that tried to make us into flyleaves for that silly firepaper book just now? I think the grapesludge just dribbled down your ears and replaced your brain, master Topheh!"

Porckie wiggled his eyebrows, he had said something witty! But then he started to think about the sidhe's words...if there was a way to get the rod back...if there was but a small chance...to hold the one rod once more...but what if the statue would try and flatten them again...but the rod....oh..but the statue...ooo milk and cookies...but the rod...the statue...arrr...yes..that's it! If the statue would be mean to them, Porckie would simply grab Toph's magic spellbook, devour it and become the mightiest dwarf alive!

"Well...okay master Topheh. But you're asking the statue, because I don't speak Stoney, Stoneisian, Stonish, Stonan, Stonic or Stonerican..."

The dwarf took the sidhe by the hand and pulled him from the chamber and, together, they walked down the hallway again...

[Thepheonix]

Toph glanced down as Porckie tugged him back down the stairway and tugged back.

"Ask THAT thing for it? I'd rather not! Lets see if we can find it first. These things around here seem familiar..."

Toph began walking up the staircase again, admiring the craftsmanship that had gone into the walls. Upon closer examination, the 'bricks' that made up the wall turned out to be not bricks at all, but finely colored crystals. Facinating stuff! It still seemed to glow slightly, as if the light from the main chamber was somehow still propagating through the crystal and to them. Suddenly, Toph had an idea.

"Porckie, you're not going to like this, but... bear with me... I'll turn the lights on soon, I promise. Here..." Toph reached into his tunic and pulled out from his pocket a small fluffy bear. "Hold onto this... Its been an old friend, and will be yours too for a little bit."

Toph had never admitted this to anyone, but he had been, and, honestly, still was a little afraid of the dark. It probably stemmed from that dark, stormy night that the Sidhe had fled Mo'Pri and Toph's ship... and his family, had been lost in the storm, leaving the young Sidhe to fight the waves, black out, and wake up in the guestbed of his 'uncle' Ah'nonsen. He had been afraid ever since.

Toph chuckled silently. Fears were funny things. Centuries after the triggering event, with the reasons fully understood, still that terror sometimes reached out to grasp at him with long, cold fingers. But... fear could be mastered, and Toph was, by now, a master at controlling it.

Steeling himself, Toph leaned over to the wall scone with the burning torch, and waved his hand in a circular motion. A small gust of wind appeared, the dust in the air circling around. Toph increased the speed of his hand motions and then made a pushing motion up and down the corridor. The gust of wind split off into a myriad of tiny spurts of wind, that flew off up and down the hallway, blowing the torches out as they went. The darkness spread, and eventually, Toph and Porckie found themselves standing in near-solid darkness. As Toph had thought, the red color of the brick-crystals was actually caused by the red flames, and with the flames gone, the crystals became mostly transparent, and with the crystals transparent... Toph could see the structure of this section of the Trust.

What he saw amazed him. The sheer number of rooms! room after room full of one or two objects each... truly astounding. Toph looked around for the rod. Finally, he saw something promising! A small fishing boat with something sticking over one end was located above them and roughly at the very edge of the complex... in fact, it seemed to actually border the clay wall that surrounded the outer boundaries of the Trust!

Toph tried to look harder, but suddenly knew that if he kept watching for even a moment, his fears would start to get the better of him. Not one to mistrust his premonitions, Toph immediatly generated a flame, dancing in front of his eyes and casting light back into the surrounding crystals, turning them once more opaque. Toph concentrated, and made the same 'pushing' gesture that he had made before. The flame split and danced up and down the corridor, lighting the torches as it went, returning more light to the area.

Pulling Porckie up by his jacket, Toph dragged the dwarf up the stairs and down a side corridor to a door with a stylized O on it, and pushed it open. There, sure enough, was the boat, and... Toph blinked in happy astonishment... a floppy mushroom, dozing against its side!

[Porckie]

"A teddybear? What do I need a teddybear fo- WAAHH!!!!"

The dwarf grabbed hold of the stuffed animal as if he were the one stuffing it, as the lgiths were suddenly turned off and Porckie could feel gusts of winds whirling round his kneecaps. Quivering slightly, Porckie looked up at the yellowy sidhe, who was wiggling his fingers again. "Whenever Toph wiggles his fingers", the dwarf thought to himself, "something nasty happens. I'm just happy he's never gone to second base with me!"

Just as he was pursuing this thought by fondling the teddy bear a bit, the lights were turned off again and Porckie, ashamedly, quickly dropped the stuffed animal. Before he knew it, he was pulled up by the Sidhe and was dragged up and down the corridor.

When the Sidhe finally came to a standstill, they entered a room quite like the one which had drenched Toph with grape sludge. This time, however, the room seemed to be filled with a little fisherboat, which looked a lot like his old vessel: ‘The thingy-dingy”. What’s more, he saw Mister Floppy!

“Mister Floppy!!”

The dwarf spread his arms and ran for the mushroom and pulled the dozing fungus to his chest and started dancing around, uttering happy little screams. Then he noticed that there was a little card attached to the mushroom which read “Winged Mushroom, OAFS collection”. Porckie scratched his head in amazement and decided to wake Mister Floppy by slapping its head about a bit.

“ Waah..wahh…Master Porckie! is it really you!? The statue…the wall…the mage….wahh!”

The mushroom had woken up and obviously had its brain scrambled in its absence.

“Calm down mister Floppy. What happened to you, how did you get here, where did you get this tag?”

“ I don’t remember much of it, master Porckie. See, when you and mister Toph ran off, I tried to follow you. But then I saw that book lying on the floor and…knowing grandmaster Toph’s bibliophilia…I decided to pick it up…Then I could not keep pace with you, sir, slowed down as I was by the weight of the book. I lost track of you and sir Toph and got lost in the labyrinth. I screamed for you but there was no reply, only echoes and a sudden hit to the head. I don’t remember much from that point onwards, sir. I only recall seeing a very old man, sir, lots of wrinkles, just like your t-”

“Er…yes...what did this old man do to you, mister Floppy?”

“ He picked me up and dragged me to this room, sir. He put that tag on me too. He did not speak to me, nor did he try to wake me up. I think, sir, he believed I was a real mushroom, which happened to have wings. However, I recall him uttering to himself that he was happy to ‘add something to his collection, that would fit well in his Rod-room’…but it is all very blurry…”

“Rod-room!? Does that mean!?”

Porckie dropped Mister Floppy instantly, who, still rather dozy, fell to the floor with a soft *boink*. The dwarf ignored his fungal friend for the moment and raised himself up to the dingy. Coming up to the edge of the boat, he looked inside and saw a fishing rod; the almighty fishing rod! The dwarf grabbed the ancient artefact and shrieked from joy.

“Grandmaster Topheh! It is the almighty fishingrod!!! I feel its power flowing through my fingers! I feel its might tingling in my toes, I feel it filling me up like it always did! Ooo…to be able to hold it once more! To stroke it, carress it, oooo…!!!”

Overjoyed with this find, Porckie beamed at his sidheous friend and jumped down from the boat, missing Mister Floppy by only one inch. The dwarf picked up the fallen fungus and rubbed the rod over its limbs, seeing how the touch of the rod revitalized the mushroom’s muscles.

“Oh, master Porckie this feels just like old times! And look, the rod also carries a tag, just like mine!”

Porckie looked down on the rod and saw a little slip of paper attached to it, which said “Almighty fishingrod, OAFS collection”. With a grunt, Porckie ripped the paper off and turned to Toph.

“Alright grandmaster Toph! Lets move back to our Rod temple! Wiggle your fingers and we’ll fl-“

Just as Porckie was about to suggest levitation, the door of the room swung open. Humming to himself, an old man entered the room and seemed obsessed with some artefact he held in his hands. So obsessed, in fact, that he did not notice the presence of the sidhe and the dwarf. Shocked to the bone, Porckie looked at the old man and immediately recognised the thing the old man was holding: it was Toph’s teddy bear!

“Humpty dumty dum dum dum…hmm… our OAFS collection keeps on growing, soon we’ll need a new ro-…HEY!!?? WHO ARE YOU, UNHAND THAT ROD!!!”

[Thepheonix]

Toph smiled and laughed as Porckie and Mr. Floppy were reunited. It was a great relief to see the mushroom in one piece, and the mushroom's story was quite interesting. It appeared the Trust had a curator, who wandered the halls picking up any items that may be out of place. Toph wondered if there had ever been visitors to this underground compendium of knowlege and history, and if the curator had spoken to another living being for... who knows how long.

It was at this point that Porckie found the Rod. Toph was overjoyed to see the thing... they had lost it many years back, and with all the upheaval and insanity that had been going on lately with the fall of the Gods and the return of Barnabas, Leto and Angelique... they had lost all track of where it even might have been. And yet, here it was.

"This is a wonderful day, Porckie. Let us return to the Temple of the Rod and place it in its proper spot, which has been left empty and barren for so very, very long" Toph pointed towards a hole at the edge of the room where it looked like someone had broken in from the tunnels of the excavation work. "We can get out through there... lets go!"

Toph had barely taken a step when a voice called out behind him.

"HEY!!?? WHO ARE YOU, UNHAND THAT ROD!!!"

Toph wheeled around to see an old... no, make that more anchient... man standing in the doorway of the room, carrying his BEAR!

"Dear sir, We are members of the Order of the Rod, and would very much like to..."

Toph trailed off... there was something very familiar about this man... were he about fifty years younger...

"Lloyd? Lloyd Bookerston? Is that you? Its Toph Imlardil... how are you even still alive?"

The old man looked at Toph for a moment, and then a smile lit up his face.

"Toph... I wondered who it was mucking up my precious Trust... Do you know how much worry you caused by taking that book? And ripping out two pages? Really? Is that any way to treat an old friend?"

"Well, I didnt know you were here... at the moment I thought it was just some old abandoned wizard's lair... and you and I both know how tempting that can be. But... again, Lloyd... I knew you over two hundred years ago, and you dont look a day over ninety... how have you been doing it?"

Lloyd nodded. "Its this place, you see... I stumbled upon it on my 'retirement tour', if you will... just a door in the side of a hill that seemed to demand that I open it and come inside. Once inside, oh, the wonders... I have been here for one hundred and seventy five years and I still have rooms that I havent explored. The 'knicknacks of rocks' exhibit on the 32nd floor just doesnt quite call to me all that much... I'll get there eventually. Anyways... once I came inside, I havent aged nearly as fast... it gets lonely, of course... I dont think the door i used to get in is even there anymore, but you know how much I like to read."

Toph smiled, remembering long days spent reading whatever he could find with this man, who was probably the best rare-book collector in all of Tonan in his day. Like all his friends, though, Toph had eventually lost touch with the man, and had assumed he had died... which, given the decades that had passed, seemed likely. Toph turned to Porckie and Mr. Floppy.

"This old man is Lloyd Bookerston, an old friend of mine and a traveling scholar. We knew each other nearly two centuries ago, believe it or not!"

Toph turned back to Lloyd.

"Err... two things before we keep talking... one..." Toph pointed at the bear "Thats my bear"

"Ah, I thought it looked familiar! Here you are... I wont need to keep this..." Lloyd held out the bear and Toph took it, glad to have it back safe and sound.

"And two... This Rod does, in fact, belong in the Temple of the Rod on Fisher's Isle. What is your policy on taking items from the Trust?"

Lloyd frowned, his brow wrinkled in thought. "You know... We havent had a claimant in many many years... Ah yes. In order to take something from the Trust, you must leave something of similar value behind. Like perhaps that winged mushroom... That would be one of a kind!"