Down Hitting

[Lady Maven]

Sartek, I like you, I really do, but seriously? STFU. You are one of the GM's I have served under who had his war threads ruined when I dared post in them by the fucking peanut gallery. You'd think YOU would understand why I ride the bench. It damned well wasn't for MY sake.

And I KNOW you can kick ass. I know alot of you can. So why are you riding the boards like some whiney bitches instead of kicking ass?

[TheSartek]

Actually, I've been staying away from the boards and just doing my thing. And I do know some of why you aren't playing, my apologies for that cheap shot. It's just this one noob riding a guilds coattails and pulling this shit then thinking he's done something grand that's got my panties in a bunch.


P.S. - And you should know that telling me to STFU isn't gonna work. lol

[_Nagash_]

P.S. - And you should know that telling me to STFU isn't gonna work. lol

Let the spamming begin!

[Reylan Talonspyre]

As you command.

[Torkano]

Odo, you should come play with me.

[Steven]

I personally have been on the top MANY times. Not bragging but stating the obvious. And there are many different ways of handled it.

I've blue balled many people in my guild to not hit. I've downhit and swept recklessly. My final opinion on what's best?

Here are my rules of engagement if I'm on the top and there are no real viable targets.
I will not hit if my guild is unscouted and unlooted. But once people think they can scout and loot the lower half of my guild that's when I will sweep. Otherwise I've gone through many ages where guild after guild dump all their turns on my guild and survived many times.

[Gokou7]

No he is lying... he's definitely bragging. blue ballss... i remember my first time with blue balls... i thought i was going to die... didn't know wat it was...thought i had to go to the hospital to get it checked out...

[Steven]

But you looked up the symptoms online at webmd and you found out ur actually a smirf?

[Torkano]

While we ponder the thought of smurfs, why don't we read a short story I made up with smurfs in it.

The sun beats down on the young Torkano’s SWIFT PEEPEEE as he walks along the shoreline. He gently wipes the mangoo from his member. Thoughts began to fill his mind on the escapades that he just encountered. He turns around and peers back into the distance. Screams can still be heard from what once he called home. His hopes and dreams shattered in but an instant. He takes but one more step and collapses on the shore. Lying there nearly lifeless and naked, he begins to recall the last visions of his father. "EWW! Sicko!" "NOT LIKE THAT!" "Okay, now back to the story." A hardworking peasant this man was, whom had built his wife and son a small mushroom cottage on the shore with his own SWIFT PEEPEE and mangoo.

He remembered seeing the sand kick up from a distance as the men rode near bearing a flag of Blue. His watched as his father grabbed a sword from under his bed. The boy moved near him and asked, “Father who are those men that come to steal the SWIFT PEEPEE?” Without answering, the father raised the boy off the ground and carried him into the kitchen. He took a didlo out and handed it to the young lad. “Take this and run my son,” the father said as he put the boy back onto the ground. The boy asked, “But why father? My massive SWIFT PEEPEE is all I need. Why do I need a dildo too?” But it was too late. His father had already turned and began making his way to the door. The boy made his way into his parent’s bedroom to find his mother on her knees, pleasing one of the horsemen(or as Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy pronounces it, Whore semen), as she held his willie tightly with her right hand, praying to Angelique. It sounded like this...Memfmumfemr. After all, she was on her knees.

“We know you and your wife are in there Bokchoy. We don’t wish to make this a struggle. Give us your wife as Lord Sissy Pants has requested. You have had ample warning Bokchoy,” one of the men said.

The young boy creeped to the edge of the bedroom opening and could see the mangoo dripping from his mothers face and the worry in his father's eyes. He noticed his fathers knees began to shake as he called out, “Leave us alone. Let us live in peace. Lord Sissy Pants can have any woman he wants but mine. She is already tied up at the moment with one of the whore semen. I will die before I ever let that bastard set his hands upon her.”

Moments went by of pure silence. His father turned and caught a glimpse of the boy. He motioned for him to always take his girls through the back door. The boy holding the dildo firmly in his grips began the move. Half way to the door he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of the front door being broken through. He eyes were lifeless as he watched his father swing the sword back and forth to keep the men at bay. One of the men dashed in with an overhand swing but his father blocked it with a crafty move of the sword. The man backed off slightly while more men entered the home. Soon five men stood surrounding the boy’s father.

Bokchoy went to his knees and asked the men if they needed anything while he was down there. The boy’s eyes turned upward towards one of the men now standing before his father. He noticed the man’s eyes look toward his father with delight as he said, “Hell, why not?” Bokchoy began to raise upward. With that he screamed out loudly, “Horatio the Goat, I will always love you.” With the deed done, Bokchoy made his way back to his feet and now placed both hands on his hips. He made a quick dance move and shimmied and shaked his body. Before Bokchoy could pull the super secret rocketman, Sissy Pants reached forth and grabbed both of his arms. Now firmly in eachother's grasp, one of the other men walked behind Sissy Pants and raised his manthing. He thrust it backward briefly to gain speed as he brought it back down upon the head of Sissy Pants. I now dub thee my bitch. As the manthing struck his head, Sissy Pants let go a gentle screech. The boy watched in horror as his father was now the man's bitch. With that he turned and began to run.

He made his way out the door and a few hundred feet down the shoreline. From here he could make out the screams of his mother. He turned towards the cottage and saw one of the men carrying his mother on his shoulders as she continued screaming. He noticed the man took his mother to the stable to play cherades. I mean who the hell likes cherades? He watched as the man bent down and began to jump up and down while hunched over and barking. For a brief moment, the child thought of making his own gesture. He now watched as the last man left the house wearing a giant diaper. At this point, they lifted his mother from the ground and told her it was her turn. Within seconds of this the young boy began to see giant muffins rise through the ceiling and now the men making their way over to feast. With that the young lad looked up to the sky while cursing. With this, the boy raised his manthing in his right hand and continued to have some fun. He arched his arm back and thrusted it forward while walking into the water. Again, he looked upward and said, “You have taken my dignity and everything that I loved in life. For that one day you will pay along with the bearers of the Blue flag.”

It was at this point that the young boy turned to continue down the shoreline. Soon after, the boy fell. The end of the story? Oh no, it was only the beginning. The tide now began to rise and make its way onto the shore. Water splashed against the young boys face again and again. Only what he though was water, wasn't. It took several splashes of the water before the boy realized it was his pet sparky urinating on him. DAMN! No respect. He tried to return to his feet, but his body was weak and he was blind from pee in his eyes. His only source of food he recalled was those damn giant muffins. He began to crawl further down the shoreline towards the light in the distance. It seemed like days but what was actually only but a few hours later the boy had reached the light in which he sought. It was a colony of giant mushrooms upon the shore. He could hear singing, Fa lalalalala fa lalalala. The boy used all the strength he had left to pull himself back to his feet. He slowly moved toward the door and gave one knock before his legs gave way, sending him back towards the ground. Seconds later a young smurfette came to the door. She stared at him with her big brown eye. She called for Papa Smurf who came to the door. Noticing the boy’s condition he lifted him off the ground and pulled him inside. The boy’s eyes wandered throughout the house while the man held him. He could pick the color of blue throughout the residence and wondered of the meaning behind it. Soon he felt himself being placed among a soft bed. It was this bed in which the boy would spend the next 10 years of his life and it was in this house in which he would learn of Gargamel. They told him of the horrible curse that Gargamel had thrust upon them. Making them forever blue even though they followed nature, which was green. He would eventually go onto marry the young smurfette but he had never once forgotten about his family nor of the promise he had made regarding their vengeance.

[Lady Maven]

huh. I knew it wouldn't work, but I had to try didn't I? OK, no, 'cause if I thought I actually had the power to make peopel shut up it would be a dark day for the rest of you.

[I]\/[mortality]

While we ponder the thought of smurfs, why don't we read a short story I made up with smurfs in it.

The sun beats down on the young Torkano’s SWIFT PEEPEEE as he walks along the shoreline. He gently wipes the mangoo from his member. Thoughts began to fill his mind on the escapades that he just encountered. He turns around and peers back into the distance. Screams can still be heard from what once he called home. His hopes and dreams shattered in but an instant. He takes but one more step and collapses on the shore. Lying there nearly lifeless and naked, he begins to recall the last visions of his father. "EWW! Sicko!" "NOT LIKE THAT!" "Okay, now back to the story." A hardworking peasant this man was, whom had built his wife and son a small mushroom cottage on the shore with his own SWIFT PEEPEE and mangoo.

He remembered seeing the sand kick up from a distance as the men rode near bearing a flag of Blue. His watched as his father grabbed a sword from under his bed. The boy moved near him and asked, “Father who are those men that come to steal the SWIFT PEEPEE?” Without answering, the father raised the boy off the ground and carried him into the kitchen. He took a didlo out and handed it to the young lad. “Take this and run my son,” the father said as he put the boy back onto the ground. The boy asked, “But why father? My massive SWIFT PEEPEE is all I need. Why do I need a dildo too?” But it was too late. His father had already turned and began making his way to the door. The boy made his way into his parent’s bedroom to find his mother on her knees, pleasing one of the horsemen(or as Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy pronounces it, Whore semen), as she held his willie tightly with her right hand, praying to Angelique. It sounded like this...Memfmumfemr. After all, she was on her knees.

“We know you and your wife are in there Bokchoy. We don’t wish to make this a struggle. Give us your wife as Lord Sissy Pants has requested. You have had ample warning Bokchoy,” one of the men said.

The young boy creeped to the edge of the bedroom opening and could see the mangoo dripping from his mothers face and the worry in his father's eyes. He noticed his fathers knees began to shake as he called out, “Leave us alone. Let us live in peace. Lord Sissy Pants can have any woman he wants but mine. She is already tied up at the moment with one of the whore semen. I will die before I ever let that bastard set his hands upon her.”

Moments went by of pure silence. His father turned and caught a glimpse of the boy. He motioned for him to always take his girls through the back door. The boy holding the dildo firmly in his grips began the move. Half way to the door he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of the front door being broken through. He eyes were lifeless as he watched his father swing the sword back and forth to keep the men at bay. One of the men dashed in with an overhand swing but his father blocked it with a crafty move of the sword. The man backed off slightly while more men entered the home. Soon five men stood surrounding the boy’s father.

Bokchoy went to his knees and asked the men if they needed anything while he was down there. The boy’s eyes turned upward towards one of the men now standing before his father. He noticed the man’s eyes look toward his father with delight as he said, “Hell, why not?” Bokchoy began to raise upward. With that he screamed out loudly, “Horatio the Goat, I will always love you.” With the deed done, Bokchoy made his way back to his feet and now placed both hands on his hips. He made a quick dance move and shimmied and shaked his body. Before Bokchoy could pull the super secret rocketman, Sissy Pants reached forth and grabbed both of his arms. Now firmly in eachother's grasp, one of the other men walked behind Sissy Pants and raised his manthing. He thrust it backward briefly to gain speed as he brought it back down upon the head of Sissy Pants. I now dub thee my bitch. As the manthing struck his head, Sissy Pants let go a gentle screech. The boy watched in horror as his father was now the man's bitch. With that he turned and began to run.

He made his way out the door and a few hundred feet down the shoreline. From here he could make out the screams of his mother. He turned towards the cottage and saw one of the men carrying his mother on his shoulders as she continued screaming. He noticed the man took his mother to the stable to play cherades. I mean who the hell likes cherades? He watched as the man bent down and began to jump up and down while hunched over and barking. For a brief moment, the child thought of making his own gesture. He now watched as the last man left the house wearing a giant diaper. At this point, they lifted his mother from the ground and told her it was her turn. Within seconds of this the young boy began to see giant muffins rise through the ceiling and now the men making their way over to feast. With that the young lad looked up to the sky while cursing. With this, the boy raised his manthing in his right hand and continued to have some fun. He arched his arm back and thrusted it forward while walking into the water. Again, he looked upward and said, “You have taken my dignity and everything that I loved in life. For that one day you will pay along with the bearers of the Blue flag.”

It was at this point that the young boy turned to continue down the shoreline. Soon after, the boy fell. The end of the story? Oh no, it was only the beginning. The tide now began to rise and make its way onto the shore. Water splashed against the young boys face again and again. Only what he though was water, wasn't. It took several splashes of the water before the boy realized it was his pet sparky urinating on him. DAMN! No respect. He tried to return to his feet, but his body was weak and he was blind from pee in his eyes. His only source of food he recalled was those damn giant muffins. He began to crawl further down the shoreline towards the light in the distance. It seemed like days but what was actually only but a few hours later the boy had reached the light in which he sought. It was a colony of giant mushrooms upon the shore. He could hear singing, Fa lalalalala fa lalalala. The boy used all the strength he had left to pull himself back to his feet. He slowly moved toward the door and gave one knock before his legs gave way, sending him back towards the ground. Seconds later a young smurfette came to the door. She stared at him with her big brown eye. She called for Papa Smurf who came to the door. Noticing the boy’s condition he lifted him off the ground and pulled him inside. The boy’s eyes wandered throughout the house while the man held him. He could pick the color of blue throughout the residence and wondered of the meaning behind it. Soon he felt himself being placed among a soft bed. It was this bed in which the boy would spend the next 10 years of his life and it was in this house in which he would learn of Gargamel. They told him of the horrible curse that Gargamel had thrust upon them. Making them forever blue even though they followed nature, which was green. He would eventually go onto marry the young smurfette but he had never once forgotten about his family nor of the promise he had made regarding their vengeance.

LOL SWIFT PEE PEE!

[Reylan Talonspyre]

huh. I knew it wouldn't work, but I had to try didn't I? OK, no, 'cause if I thought I actually had the power to make peopel shut up it would be a dark day for the rest of you.

It would be a quiet day for me.

[_Nagash_]

huh. I knew it wouldn't work, but I had to try didn't I? OK, no, 'cause if I thought I actually had the power to make peopel shut up it would be a dark day for the rest of you.

That is because you prefer a mangoo over a passionfruit, or pineapple.

[Torkano]

Lol yeah Immort, Swift PEEPEE. When are you going to bring it back? I'll join the guild I made the charter for.